Adieu

I'm officially declaring this blog defunct. I was going to delete it, but there is some decent stuff tucked away here in the archives, particularly some of the contributions by H. Pompous Pseudonymous and all the moustache entries.

Perhaps, if you (and, frankly, I) are so inclined, there will be more material of interest over at The Incongruities, a new and hastily constructed web endeavor from the creator of Your Life's Ideas. (That's me.)

Kiss my American...

...Ass. Watch the video. Classy and compelling, with a dash of respect for the rule of law thrown in to balance the sour taste of xenophobia. Not to mention the boundary-busting public display of eroticism. I mean, who hasn't imagined what Lady Liberty is wearing underneath that modest robe. She is from France, after all, though I'm confident she came with all the appropriate paperwork completed.

This guy is a real charmer, I must say. No surprise that he won hisself a sweet mail-order Russian bride.

Ah, thanks as always to the local news.

Shorter, but still funny local news moment

Scanning the Archives? Paying his Late Fees?

OUTSTANDING. Mike Cooper and his dad win the 2006 William Ligue Jr. and Son Award for Classy Family Behavior.

This is the single greatest video I have ever seen. Boom goes the dynamite!

NB: be patient. The video gets much better about 2 minutes in.

Game for commenters: Use library terms more apt than the ones in this post's title as a euphemismm for Mike Cooper's, um, research.

Much thanks to the Drowning Man for the link.

It's the Arockalypse

Well, the Eurovision finals were yesterday (apparently the Eurovisions are like a continent-wide battle of the bands), and the winners were these charmers from Finland:

LORDI, singing their new hit Hard Rock Hallelujah. These guys look nice, and I love the lead singer's hat.

Lock Your Doors

The bears are banding together to create a super-powerful hybrid of mega-bears that will descend from the Northwest to rule us all. To paraphrase the great Kent Brockman, I, for one, welcome our new polagrizzly overlords.

(Side note to H. Pompous: with Benchley dead, perhaps this opens the door for you to become our next great gruesome beast litterateur. You could write a great hybrid of Jaws and Faulkner's "The Bear.")

Now on DVD

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe!

For old times' sake:

Ricky Williams and Team Chemistry

Ricky Williams is out of the National Football League for a year, just because the guy likes Funyuns (now available with Wasabi--SPICY!) and watching Space Ghost Coast to Coast.

"This is a league decision, and we are disappointed in what it means for Ricky and the team," Saban said in a statement. "Ricky did an outstanding job for the Dolphins, not only as a player but also what he added as a person to the team's chemistry and to our overall success."

Ricky's contribution to team chemistry was complex, and much appreciated by his teammates:

The strange saga of "Maury" and "Donna" and "Bianca"--but what about "Connie"?

Remember this groundbreaking moment in television?

Well, it seems like the past 20 years of Maury and Connie magic have been a little bit more "magical" (for Maury, at least) than the public was previously aware.

Questions:

• Did Connie have her own set of perverse staffers/lovers in some weird telejournalist version of an open marriage?
• Was this Maury's way of keeping up with Jerry Springer?
• With Bill O'Reilly?
• Can Maury Povich's depraved behavior become the center of one of his own shows? Should Montel Williams take the story?

I haven't felt much like writing recently...

So in the meantime, here's something intelligent to tide you over...

G-men need Gmail?

Honestly?